There is a nice, simple, & fun psychology game you can play with someone you’re just getting to know. You can do this with potential friends or romantic partners. It’s pretty old and well-known, so you might have heard this before, whether it was from Teal Swan or a psychology course, but here’s your reminder.
- What is your favourite colour? And tell me three reasons why.
- What is your favourite animal? And why? Describe them using three adjectives.
- What is your favourite body or form of water? Again, list three qualities behind your choice.
Answer these questions for yourself now too, before you read further into this. Try not to use superficial, unimaginative reasons.
Like other unconscious associations, each answer reveals other aspects about themselves:
- How you describe your favourite colour reveals how you view yourself.
- The qualities you attribute to your favourite animal represent what your ideal romantic partner is like. Another version says this actually represents how others view you.
- The last question refers to how you perceive your sexuality or your attitude towards sex and/or love.
Here are my genuine answers:
- My initial thought is “black”, but that’s technically not a colour and also, it’s more of an aesthetic preference regarding fashion style and hair. In this context I associate black with the words dark, elegant, and mysterious. My other answer is blue / teal. I associate blue with freedom, serenity, and depth. As far as the implications are concerned, I’m not so sure about ‘serene’. I have a fluid personality, and serenity only applies sometimes, so it’s not a fixed defining characteristic. Because I always oscillate between black and blue when someone asks this question in any context, perhaps this also hints at my dislike for limitations to a particular way of being.
- Dogs, wolves, snow leopards, cats, or polar bears? But I also like deer! I can’t pick one.
Tough to choose between cats and dogs when it comes to domestic animals, but I’d say my favourites are dogs. Words that come to mind are: cute, friendly, affectionate, and loyal.
I have loved polar bears ever since I was little, probably ever since I read a Romanian story, “Fram, the polar bear”; I love polar bears because they are cute and peaceful (when they’re not bothered or hunting), and I guess also because I associate them with my childhood (hence a purer perception of the world). It’s fascinating and calming to watch documentaries about polar bears; I like their whole vibe and that they live in the middle of an icy nowhere.
I also admire snow leopards a lot, because they’re beautiful, agile and strong, elusive, and solitary, living their best life in the mountains. Nicknamed “Ghosts of the mountains”, they are crepuscular, like me. Despite their wild, predatorial nature, they don’t generally attack humans, even when they’re feeding. They can be found thriving at the highest altitudes.
I love deer because they’re graceful, peaceful, and they have depth and gentleness in their eyes.
Anyway, since I can’t pick, I’m gonna say I appreciate all these traits. Realistically speaking, taking into account the other version of this question, I would say that if this question actually shows how others view me rather than what I want in a partner, then going for a feline would probably be the most accurate. You can guess the adjectives. My spirit animal is definitely a feline. A cat morphing into a snow leopard at will.
- My favourite body of water would be small streams/creeks/rivers that you can find in the woods. So relaxing and refreshing, elevating, ever flowing. I also like lakes that you can find in certain caves, the ones with transparent crystalline blue water. Because they are enigmatic, pristine, and hidden. I love waterfalls, but I can’t find the right words to fully describe why. Maybe I like their impetuousness and dreaminess. I love the sea and its unpredictability; I especially like being in it when it’s windy or after a storm when the waves are tumultuous. Not going to attempt to interpret all these qualities in relation to the subjects of sex and love; I suppose all of this could mean my sexuality is an enigma even for me or that I have a changing attitude towards sex and/or love.